When I hear people talk about mom guilt, I usually picture moms with toddlers hanging onto their legs while they try to answer emails.
My son is 16.
He doesn’t need me to tie his shoes or make dinosaur-shaped sandwiches anymore. Most days, he’s in his room doing his own thing while I’m working from home.
So I always thought, “Mom guilt? I don’t really have that.”
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that maybe mom guilt doesn’t disappear when your children get older. It just changes.
I Thought Mom Guilt Was Only for Moms With Little Kids
For the longest time, I thought mom guilt belonged to moms with little kids.
My son is 16 now. My husband and I both work from home, and because space is limited, we all spend most of our days in the same room. He’s doing schoolwork while we’re working, and somehow we’ve made it work.
So no, I don’t worry about missing bedtime stories or school plays. Those seasons have passed.
In fact, we’re together more than most families.
Which is why I never thought I experienced mom guilt.
But every now and then, I wonder if simply being in the same room is the same thing as truly being present.
Then I Look at Our Everyday Life
We’re an NBA family, which means basketball is basically our fourth roommate.
My husband is working. I’m working. Our son is studying. But somewhere in between deadlines and assignments, somebody is checking scores, somebody is bringing up trade rumors, and somebody is complaining about a terrible call.
And yes, that somebody changes depending on the day.
Random NBA highlights are shared without warning. Debates about MVP candidates happen when they’re least expected. And if there’s a close game on, productivity suddenly becomes optional. You would even hear us shout and share shocked moments on whatever happened on that game! (Our OG Anunoby split second game winning tip on Game 4 finals reaction is one of my favorite this season!)
Nothing extraordinary. No elaborate family game nights. No Pinterest-worthy traditions.
Just three people sharing a room, sharing life, and occasionally acting like assistant coaches from the couch.
And honestly?
Maybe that’s enough.
Maybe Ordinary Is Enough
Sometimes I wonder if we should be doing more. You know, the kind of things people tell you you’ll miss someday. More conversations. More outings. More memory-making.
Even though we’re together more than most families, I still catch myself asking, “Am I making the most of these years?”
That’s the funny thing about mom guilt. It doesn’t always come from being absent.
Sometimes it comes from wondering if simply being together is enough.
But then I look at our normal days.
My husband is working. I’m working. Our son is studying. Somewhere in between, someone brings up the latest NBA trade rumor, someone complains about a bad call, and someone insists that their team got robbed.
Half the time, we’re supposed to be focused, but a close game can quickly turn into everyone’s business.
Should I Be Guilty Then?
And I realize maybe we’re already making memories.
Not the big, picture-perfect kind.
Just the ordinary ones.
The random conversations, the inside jokes, and the shared frustration over a blown call.
Maybe this season of life isn’t about doing everything together.
Maybe it’s about sharing life together.
And maybe one day, when our son has a room of his own somewhere else, these ordinary afternoons are the ones I’ll think about the most.
The ones that didn’t feel like much at the time… but were actually everything.
